Everybody knows that Leonardo DiCaprio Loves Period Pieces. But when it was announced earlier this month that DiCaprio is planning to star in the long-awaited adaptation of Devil in the White City, it was time to sketch out a chart. This news came just a couple of weeks after I’d seen a trailer for The Revenant: There was Leo, marching around in some bleak wilderness in 1853. It just looked so natural, Leo in his historically accurate garb, holding a time-appropriate firearm. The guy must do one period piece a year at this point.
Which made me think: Could it be, after a twenty-odd years career, that Leo is nearing completion in what I assume is a lifelong project to star in a movie set in every decade between now and 1850? It could just be.
Oh, my god, he is SO CLOSE.
Leo needs to make three more movies to complete the 150-year span, set in the 1880s, the 1900s, and 1970s. And look, we want to see Leo succeed. We’re here to help. So we’ve got some projects to pitch him with that in mind.
The 1880s
Luckily, this was the decade Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde was published, and although it’s been adapted for film several times since then, it’s way overdue for Leo-helmed reimagining. Bonus: This will allow Leo to wear a top hat.
The 1900s
Three good opportunities here. Upton Sinclair wrote and reported The Jungle in 1904, and it hasn't been adapted since a silent film version in 1914. Leo can break out some of his old lower-class, turn-of-the-century garb from the set of Titanic. Or, if he wants to steer away from book adaptations, there’s still an epic Historical Disaster flick to be made of the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake.
And if it’s a biopic Leo’s looking for, Einstein is his man—he published his theory on special relativity in 1905.
The 1970s
Weirdly hard. What should have happened is that Leo should have played literally every male role in American Hustle. Instead, Bradley Cooper, Christian Bale, and Jeremy Renner played those roles. So we’ve gotta go looking for something else. We’re going to forgo the usual bait—book adaptations—and instead turn our eyes to a pre-existing Leo passion project: saving the environment.
As it happens, Greenpeace was founded in 1972, and its origin story—which includes a floating stand-off near the Aleutian islands, northwest of Alaska—is perfect material for a Leo period piece. He’ll probably even get to keep that nasty beard.