Jacqueline Bisset: ‘We are living a malady of narcissism at the moment’

When I was in my 40s people said: “You’d better do this now” to me a lot about work offers, because I wouldn’t get asked in my 70s. I remember thinking, “I’ll still be good then” – and here I am.

I do wonder if part of why I’m still relevant is because I haven’t had surgery. I look real. The popularity of plastic surgery shows the insecurity women feel. We can lose touch with ourselves with the menopause and become frantic that the physical aspect of us is what is going to keep men happy. But a human being’s real needs are about warmth.

My father was a great listener and talker. He was intent on saying: “If you are interested in people you will always have friends.” I think he was completely right. Listening well is so important.

Conversation is always the most important part of my day. A lot of people don’t look at each other when they talk these days, but it’s not for me to make judgments about people being on their phones all the time.

I was an anxious child and don’t think I would have been very good at social media if I were a girl today.

It is important to notice. I’ve always been sensitive to moods and nuances. I’m amazed when I see people blather on without seeing how someone is feeling.

We are living a malady of narcissism at the moment. It is everywhere, particularly in politics in the US – the lack of truth, the preening, the lying. It’s dangerous and creating such terrible disdain of the other.

I never planned on going to America and being part of the Hollywood scene. I had no burning desire to be there. I stayed there because I fell in love with someone.

On the rare occasion that men were sleazy with me back then, it was just out of the question I would function on that level. I didn’t swear back then, but learned a few words I used when necessary.

My father used to call and say: “Do you still have your self-respect?” And I would say: “Yes, Daddy.” What he meant was: are you still a virgin? I answered truthfully. I was a late-bloomer. At a certain point he stopped asking.

Ambition is something to be careful with. Being greedy is rarely a good idea. It’s normal to want to get better at your job or your art if you’re well-focused, but I think if you’re climbing a mountain it is best to do it a step at a time, with a sure foothold. There is always a lot of incredible talent out there, so it’s a matter of attitude.

Here and Now is available on digital download from 25 February